Saturday, January 1, 2011
Make The Change Your life NEEDS!
You are already the person you were born to be. But we are too obsessed with the other stuff like fixations, media and what we think people want us to be. So the question is, how do we stop being who we aren't?
At what point do we realize that we are just trying to please people, or the need to come out on top, or the desire to compete with a friend or co-worker for the lime light. What is all this about and why do we do these things?
When i really had to face myself (At Landmark) my mess, failures, stupidities, lies, pain, betrayals, obsession with always wanting to be right, my stubbornness, the need for power, disappointments, my desire for my children to be the best....and this list goes on. This is the time when i truly realized how much of a mess i was! No one else but ME! I created this mess. Not my friends or ex or children. It was ME/YOU!
Ok you are probably sitting there saying "oh don't be so hard on yourself" No, that is not what I'm doing. Rather I'm taking responsibility for the interpretations i made up about what happened. Whether it was a friend who lied to me, my son who broke something in the house or a friend betraying me. We think our way too much "into becoming ourselves" (or who we think we are)
I can't speak for you, but what i had to do to get out of the mess i created was to STOP living.unconsciously!
All the good, humble, peaceful and happy YOU will surface, but not when its buried under so much junk and stories you created. So one day i just stopped. I became present to the NOW. I started staring into peoples eyes more. I turn off my phone in meeting or even while out with friends. I'm much more patient with my 2 year old (although my eldest says I'm too patient lol) and something happened the other day that was so amazing. While i was driving into work i noticed so many billboards on the highway that i had never noticed before but the wildest part was while i was dazing from afar into the many tall trees to the left of me, naked from leaves and i noticed the birds nests planted up high on the tree branches. I was so amazed. Mostly with myself!
Everyday i a new day for me (now) It is the most amazing feeling to stop living in the stories you create about people, things and situations in your life. Ok so someone once hurt you...so what!! Why carry that into your future and allow it to eat you inside or prevent you from seeing the good in others. Or even making others suffer for pain that has nothing to do with them! Its your PAST so leave it in the past. Stop carrying around all that weight that is pulling you down into a pit. Believe me, i speak from experience. Now, I'm not justifying what another person has done to you or saying "it was ok to do what they did" NOOOO please don't think that. What I'm saying is IT'S OVER and it is what it is. People who hurt people are "hurting people" If you can just get that, you will be literally set free! I mean think about it. Does it not make sense? YES exactly. So stop walking around feeling guilty or bad or thinking there was something you could have done. NO there was not. So leave it. Kiss it good bye :-)
You get to change your mind about everything you have created.
Deal with what ever anger or bitterness or even sadness you have. You may not even realize you are these things. It may show in things like "binge eating, addicted to spending money, or compulsive exercising" You must find a person or thing that will help you. It won't be a vacation (to escape for a period of time) It is going to be very hard at times. I mean like you will be using apart of your brain that you have never used. Dealing with your grieves and pain will set you FREE! Burying it WON'T. Complaining about it WON'T.
You are holding your future in your hands right now. What do you want to do with it? There will always be something ending and then something beginning. Always. In the center of all this is YOU. The beautiful you, smart, geeky screwed -up you. Allow yourself to be loved by God. Be your truest self. The self that you see in the reflection of your best friends eyes. The self that gets emotional while watching a love movie. The self that loves to love.
Look into the eyes of those women who you know are divine and study their peace.
I promise you, you will be set free. No one can do this for you. You must just let it all go. So from this day forth THE FIRST DAY OF A NEW YEAR, promise yourself that you will do what you have to do to rid all the drama and you will not complain another moment. Entertain gossip another moment. Judge others-another moment (Trust me, God will handle that) Yell another moment. Be impatient another moment or blaim another moment. This is it my people. Live as if you truly only have ONE life to live. This is it. This is it.
"NOW" is all we have.
I will pray that this awakening comes with grace for you as it did for me :-) Allow yourself to feel. Love yourself as you are.
Make the change your life needs! There isn't much time :-)