Saturday, January 15, 2011
The Risk of Being Vulnerable
Vulnerable means to show yourself to others completely and utterly without holding back for fear of rejection or judgment. At the same time, it's like saying "here are my strengths and my weaknesses and here is what i stand for"
Despite what you may think or hear people say, it is actually very attractive to be vulnerable. The reason this may not work for many people is due to "low self-esteem" That's a whole other topic.
In order to be vulnerable with someone, you must first be honest with yourself/ourselves.
Love and respect who you are!
Don't be needy. You will almost certainly attract the wrong person (without even knowing it)
Don't be a victim to your vulnerable side.
There is nothing to change about you in order to be vulnerable. Just BE! You are perfect. Your flaws, fears and insecurities.
It's only your EGO that judges. It's as if the "ego" is another person. A separate being from "YOU"
Once you love and accept yourself, you will no longer fear others or judgment. We only fear the judgments we FIRST judge ourselves. Neediness in the area of being vulnerable will only come if we want external validation from someone else- a desire to be told it's ok to feel this way.
Accepting your flaws does not mean you sit there and complain about them and become a victim to those flaws. Becoming a victim to anything is going to kill the attraction. Period.
Most people fear being vulnerable to others and as a result, they hold back. Often when we are vulnerable with another person they see themselves in us and will react negatively and then attack. They do this because they don't like what they see in us only because they don't like it in themselves and judge harshly. When this happens, we must remember that it is not about "YOU" (It is critical that you get this)
Another reason people hold back being vulnerable with each other is because they don't know how to hold their own strength. We give all our power away to people and then get crushed by them so we end up closing our hearts up and pulling back. It can get painful, so we "play it safe"
We must own our strength first before we can open our hearts. Often, people think it was because "they loved too much and its why they got hurt" It was not"our" hearts that was the problem, it was the fact that we do not own our own strength.
We must let go of our pasts and learn to own our strength in order to be VULNERABLE. It's the greatest gift you can ever give yourself. Not being who you are inside is very LONELY.
Let your walls come down and be willing to "Break All Your Rules" The rules that your "ego" created.
Love you all.
Smile, Love and Learn to Dance!