Saturday, January 15, 2011

The Risk of Being Vulnerable

For the past couple months i have been trying to fully understand this whole "vulnerable" thing. I mean, what i thought it meant is totally opposite of what it truly means. When we hear the word "vulnerable" many of us think of "weak" I know i did. However, i GOT IT now!

Vulnerable means to show yourself to others completely and utterly without holding back for fear of rejection or judgment. At the same time, it's like saying "here are my strengths and my weaknesses and here is what i stand for"

Despite what you may think or hear people say, it is actually very attractive to be vulnerable. The reason this may not work for many people is due to "low self-esteem" That's a whole other topic.

In order to be vulnerable with someone, you must first be honest with yourself/ourselves.
Love and respect who you are!
Don't be needy. You will almost certainly attract the wrong person (without even knowing it)
Don't be a victim to your vulnerable side.

There is nothing to change about you in order to be vulnerable. Just BE! You are perfect. Your flaws, fears and insecurities.
It's only your EGO that judges. It's as if the "ego" is another person. A separate being from "YOU"

Once you love and accept yourself, you will no longer fear others or judgment. We only fear the judgments we FIRST judge ourselves. Neediness in the area of being vulnerable will only come if we want external validation from someone else- a desire to be told it's ok to feel this way.

Accepting your flaws does not mean you sit there and complain about them and become a victim to those flaws. Becoming a victim to anything is going to kill the attraction. Period.

Most people fear being vulnerable to others and as a result, they hold back. Often when we are vulnerable with another person they see themselves in us and will react negatively and then attack. They do this because they don't like what they see in us only because they don't like it in themselves and judge harshly. When this happens, we must remember that it is not about "YOU" (It is critical that you get this)

Another reason people hold back being vulnerable with each other is because they don't know how to hold their own strength. We give all our power away to people and then get crushed by them so we end up closing our hearts up and pulling back. It can get painful, so we "play it safe"

We must own our strength first before we can open our hearts. Often, people think it was because "they loved too much and its why they got hurt" It was not"our" hearts that was the problem, it was the fact that we do not own our own strength.

Being vulnerable scares me a bit but it's something we must do with our "eyes open" It does not mean we are "open to being dumb" It's just a way to tell yourself and others that you are not afraid of people only because they will never be able to take your power away. I can be as free as i want to be and not worry about anyone taking advantage of me now because i have the power to "smell games" We all do. However some of us get caught up with "needing" something or someone at that moment. You have the power to set the boundaries and that does not mean you are "bossy" it just shows that you are open enough to be vulnerable but not dumb enough to give away your power.

We must let go of our pasts and learn to own our strength in order to be VULNERABLE. It's the greatest gift you can ever give yourself. Not being who you are inside is very LONELY.

Let your walls come down and be willing to "Break All Your Rules" The rules that your "ego" created.

Love you all.
Smile, Love and Learn to Dance!

1 comment:

  1. This reminds me of something I read not so long ago in which the person explains that what we see in others and don't like about them is what you fear and don't like about yourself. Therefore, the next time a person is about to judge and criticize another person for something they said and did. They may be attacking themselves in a projected disguise.