Friday, March 4, 2011

Don't Be So Bitter!

Of course i will not dare to say "her" name (lol - i don't even know it lol) but every morning as i sign into the gym, there is a particular woman there (employee) that NEVER smiles and when she does, she still looks bitter. I can only imagine how sad or angry she must be deep down inside and obviously i do not know what her problems are or if she has any. But, i do know how it feels to have problems or issues or unpaid bills (all of the above) and i also know that life does not have to be this way. Mrs.Rubin (author of Happiness Project) says "Act the way you want to feel" This is so true and I'm realizing it more and more each day.

My colleagues Colleen, Natasha and i had an amazing conversation (well a few of them) yesterday during our meeting and one of the main topics were "Why are so many people so unhappy with themselves?" This is like a million dollar question and i don't think it will ever be resolved for many people. What i do know is that i DO NOT want to be bitter ever- AGAIN! I spent too many months last year in bitterness and this made me a person i was NOT! So many people had no idea i was angry inside. I smiled. I laughed. I conversed openly. I shopped. I cooked. I attended all planned meetings. I was a great mother, I still did my thanggg but inside i was angry.

How did i put a stop to my thinking? Well first when i realized that God was not pleased with me, i slowly tried to stop myself. It was hard because i became so comfortable with my bitterness. I then had to cut off the people i had "only bitter" conversations with (not because i did not love them) and then i took a real deep look into the reasons i was bitter and when i realized that the situation was all in my favour, i LET GO!!

At its best, anger is a signal telling us that things are not right, that we should pay attention to our needs, and that change may need to occur. At its worst, anger is a destructive force in our lives which disrupts relationships and hurts us and those around us. We need to pay more attention to ourselves.

We as humans have the power to look into negative situations and pull out the positive. Naturally, we tend to be attracted to things and people that are a bit of a challenge for us. But please look very carefully and make sure this is a "good" challenge and NOT GAMES! If you take a few minutes to relax when your angry (as my friend Vanessa always warned me) so much of what we say and do in angry will not take place. You give yourself the breathing and thinking space for a reason. Use it.

We truly never know why someone is angry or bitter, but just put yourself in their shoes for a few moments. Relax and think before you react. This may give you a totally different point of view of this person. You will see him/her in a different light. Trust me, when a person does not seem happy, he or she is NOT! So why would we want to play on that? No, just smile. Your smile may be the only smile that truly makes a difference.

Even if someone is not worthy of your smile (so you think) that does not justify anything. You are not the one that is bitter, so just smile and take it easy. The bible says "Have a gentle spirit at all times" Do we really know what this means? God, i say i do, but do i?

Everyday i pray that God will humble me and give me the strength i need to determine the good from the bad and leave the bad alone. Give it ZERO of my time and focus. Go after the good....I mean good- in everything and everybody. I pray for this because it is truly who and what I AM inside.

For those of us who grew up in the "not so privileged areas" we know what it is like to face hardships. I grew up with nothing but drama in my life, surroundings and if i survived that for so many years as a CHILD with a smile on my face, the rest should be a walk in the park!

Lighten up. Smile!

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