I have been writing chapters of my book for over 2 years with many breaks in between lol due to my busy schedule. However, i have been receiving many emails asking when will be the release date of my first book "If You Played In My Playground"
I now know more than ever, that i have to got to complete this book so that i can go ahead and start my sequel "Cass........The Friendly Ghost"
(it was also my favourite cartoon growing up)
While you wait patiently for this date, here is a sneak peak of MY STORY!
I had been living in a story of my own creation my whole life without even noticing it! Once i had this awareness, i started to question everything in my story. Is it true that I am what I am? Is what i believe about everything else true? I have already reviewed the story of my life and I did not like all of the drama that I had created. I wanted to reinvent myself.
The first step was to take away from my story what I felt was not true, and to find out what was true. I discovered that what I called the FRAME of the dream is true because God creates the frame, and its the same for EVERYBODY. Our agreements about what to call the objects in the frame are also true because it is how we described our virtual reality.
Almost everything that is abstract is a lie: what is right or wrong, what is good or bad, what is beautiful or ugly. I have discovered that almost 90% of the concepts I have stored in my mind were based on lies, especially the concepts I believed about myself: I can do this, I cannot do that. IAM this way, I will never be that way. The problem is not really knowledge; the problem is what contaminates knowledge-and that is a lie. I could see that there was a lot of nonsense in the way we learn to write our stories. It’s kind of like a make belief system.
Before I was born in the physical body, a whole society of story tellers was already here. The story was on going and from their story I learned how to create my own. Our story tellers teach us how to be human, they tell us what and who we are what we should or should not be. They teach us how to be a woman or how to be a man. They teach us to be a proper decent woman and a strong brave man. They even tell us that “boys don’t cry” Or that “men are stronger than women”
They give us a name at birth and they lead us into the role we are playing in their story. They prepare us to live in the human jungle, to compete with one another, to control one another, to impose our will, to fight against our own kind.
Of course I believed what the story tellers told me. Why would I not believe them? They filled me with knowledge to copy their style and create my art in a similar way. I mean they are or were the leaders in our lives and of course they knew best, right?
As children we witness the way other people relate to one another, and this becomes normal behaviour for us. We see our aunts, uncles, cousins, parents and neighbours in romantic relationships. They suffer but they believe they love. All of the drama we suffer in our relationships is because we witness so many lies when we are innocent, and we use these lies to form our own stories. Do we even know what real love is like?
I continue to study the story of my life, and what I discovered is that everything in my story is about me. Of course it has to be that way because IAM the centre of my perception, and the story is from my point of view. The main character that lives inside my story is based on someone who really exists-that is true. But what I believe about me is not true-it’s a story. It is a story that others created, not me.
I project my image to other people in society, and other people perceive that projection, modify it, and react to me according to their stories they have created for themselves or the lies they were told by their story tellers. Through this, I discovered that because it’s my story, I also create an image for every character that lives in my story. The characters are based on people who really exist, but everything I believe about them is a story of my own creation. I create the character of my mother, father, sister, brothers and friends. I qualify the person. I make judgments about the person based on all of the knowledge in my mind and my own personal experiences with them. This is how I keep their image in my memory. Example, you project what you want me to believe about you, and I modify it depending on what I believe. Now, IAM sure you are what I believe you are and I might even say to you, as you have said to others “I know you" when the truth is I don’t know you at all. I only know the story you show me or the one I created about you. And it took some time for me to understand that I only know the story I created about MYSELF!
For years I thought I knew myself (most of my life), until I discovered that what I knew was not the truth. I only knew what I believed about myself. This wasn’t much. Then I discovered that IAM not what I believe IAM. And it was very interesting and also frightening, when I discovered that I really didn’t know anybody, and they don’t know me either. Not 1 single person, but GOD!
The truth is that we only know what we know, and we only know our story. But how many times do we hear people say "I know my children very well, they would never do something like that" Do you think you really know your children? Do you think you really know your partner? Well, you are probably certain that nobody really knows you, but do you really know yourself? Do you really know anybody?
I use to believe that I knew my mother, but the only thing I knew about her was the rolls I assign her to play in my story. Everything I know about her is what I believe about her. I have no idea what she has in her head. Her secrets she hid from me to protect me, as I did my children. Only my mother knows what and who she is, and surely she doesn't know either. The same is true for you; your mother can swear she knows you VERY well. But, is it true? I don’t think so. You know that she has no idea what you have in your mind. She only knows what she believes about you, which means she knows almost nothing...Your mother creates an image about you, and she wants you to fit the image she creates. If you are not what she wants you to be, guess what happens? She feels hurt by you. But when you know that it’s just her story, why bother defending your point of view? The argument will only get ugly. It doesn't matter what you say; she will not believe you anyway. How can she believe your story when it is not her point of view? The best you can do is to change the conversation, enjoy her presence, and love her for the way she is. Her story makes her react the way she does. The story you do not know. When you have this awareness, you will forgive everyone around you for trying to change you or forgive yourself for trying to change someone else. Recently when I discovered that people are creating and living their own story, how could I judge them any longer? And whatever people say about me is just a projection of THEIR image of me. It has nothing to do with me. I spent so many years worried about people’s thoughts of me and was always wasting so much time trying to prove myself. Now, I don’t waist my time taking anything personal. I focus my attention on creating my new story. My OWN story.
We want people to be the way we want them to be, well bad news, that will NEVER happen.
When I discovered how short life is, I decided not to waist my time in conflict, mainly with the people I love! I want to enjoy them, and I do that by trying to love them for who they are, not for what they believe. It’s so hard but IAM trying. I have made up my mind that I will let Go and let God.
I don’t want to impose my story on anybody. If other people try to write your story that means they don’t respect you. Simply put. Because they consider that you are not a good writer of your story. Respect comes directly from love; it is one of the greatest expressions of love. Without respect, there is no love. Not Gods love anyway.
I also respect myself and I don’t allow anybody to write my story. It is my responsibility and my own creation. I can compare my chapters with other people’s chapters, but it is still my own story.
When I first had awareness that I didn't like my story, I thought "Okay, IAM the author, I will change it" And I tried and failed, tried again and failed again and again. The truth was I did not have to change my story but to just find my true self. Seems like a lot of work huh? Well it was and still is.
This is like a big step in awareness. If we clean up the lies we believe about ourselves, almost like magic the lies we believe about others will change. If we truly stopped every time we are about to tell a lie and decide, we are going to tell the truth, everything around you will change. You will no longer be living a lie.
I’m the only one who can change my own story. Humans are the storytellers of God. I would love for you to take the time and patience to hear my real story, the story that IAM still writing.
Love your friend, Elizabeth Correia