Wednesday, November 10, 2010

We are NOT Victims, We are SURVIVORS!

Many of you watched the Oprah Special "200 ADULT MEN WHO WERE MOLESTED COME FORWARD"

Sadly i missed this episode, as i was at work. However, i got to watch it just moments ago, after hearing some very ignorant comments from women in regards to the victims. Tyler Perry in particular.
I admire and appreciated Tyler's candor and vulnerability, getting on national television and sharing traumatic memories could have not been easy in any way. But as he says here, HE IS NOW FREE to heal.

I am inspired by his flicks as they resemble the courage that's needed for women like you and i to realise what we are worth.

To have gone through what he did, and be where he is today tells you and i "We can do and be anything we want" It is amazing this man is where he is with all that pain and confusion in his heart and spirit. It truly is. In my eyes, he is a shining STAR!
I can imagine how light he feels to have shared this with the world...which he did not have to do.
I know the feeling.

My people this is REAL life.
How dare we be apart of the "hell" they are living in by commenting degrading words against their sexual lifestyle and what they can or can't do or what they should or should NOT do. Please my people, we have to realize that our men are not "messed" up (as most of us call it) for no apparent reason. Many of these men have been abused. Sexually, verbally or mentally. Abuse is abuse. But the sexual is one that many if NOT -MOST of these men will NOT come out with. Please see the bigger picture here and just live their life for a few seconds. Imagine the pain and courage it takes to live like this. Not knowing if you desire a man or woman. Because at such a young age, you were robbed of your innocence and what you did see and feel was NOT right. You became someone you were NOT born to be. Any person who says they were born gay is a total complete LIE!
It is a SPIRIT that was passed onto you somehow... somewhere....and make no mistake, if it is not dealt with, it will manifest through out your life in your children, siblings and possibly even your partner! It is real.
I hope and pray that this show will give the the other men who are hiding, that have been abused, the courage to get help or talk to someone. This spirit needs to be rebuked and delivered out of those of us who have been abused. It causes such deep rooted grief and pain. Most of the time we do not realize where it comes from. Many MEN are living with this dying internal pain.
When i got saved i decided to be honest about my past. My abuse. The first time i did, it was at church (Prayer Palace at the time) I can't describe in words what this did for me. I'm serious. It felt like i was 25 pounds lighter. There is a sort of healing that comes with "Being Real About Your Pain"  and speaking it out verbally and not just in your head to yourself. Its like an immediate healing that starts to take place. I use to be so ashamed about it. More so, because it was the closest person to me. Relative. My own blood. Someone who was suppose to protect me. Luckily this abuse got far but when "he" wanted to take it to another level, i fought back (i was 14 at this time) I refused to loose my virginity that way and would have fought all the way to escape, even if it meant i was going to die in his arms.  The abuse started at a very young age. I can only remember as far back as 5 or 6....and by the time i was 14 i was already starting to rebel. I left home and never returned.
Finding God was the start of my new life. I worked and worked on my forgiveness towards him and years later got to a point where i truly have forgiven him. I got to a point where i can even openly say "I know he was also sick or is sick."
When someone abuses another person; verbally, physically, mentally or is not you they are after or hate .... they HATE themselves! There is something missing within. They are living darkness and they want others, especially loved ones to feel that same pain. I know, it sounds sick and it is....but we must get to a place of forgiveness. These men who are cheating, committing sexual sin, beating their children silly, killing people, using or abusing, i hate to say this, but the truth is they are probably VICTIMS as well. This is so deep friends. So deep.
We need to get to a place of inner peace.
Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. . Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future. Forgiveness has nothing to do with forgetting... you don't have to be senile to be delivered. A wounded person cannot-indeed, should not-think that a faded memory can provide an expiation of the past. To forgive, one must remember the past, put it into perspective, and move beyond it. Without remembrance, no wound can be transcended.In a way, forgiving is only for the brave. It is for those people who are willing to confront their pain, accept themselves as permanently changed, and make difficult choices. Countless individuals are satisfied to go on resenting and hating people who wrong them. They stew in their own inner poisons and even contaminate those around them. Forgivers, on the other hand, are not content to be stuck in a quagmire. They reject the possibility that the rest of their lives will be determined by the unjust and injurious acts of another person.
I refuse to live in hatred. I refuse to be classified as a "Victim" Although I AM, i rather be known as a "Survivor" Because to be abused or used and be as strong as i am and forgiving as i be so inspired to reach the top as i am, to have the ambition i have, to have never used drugs or killed myself, to be such an amazing and loving mother, to have never lost my mind...I AM A SURVIVOR!

What we need to understand is our story is apart of who we are born to be. It forms us into the men and women God needs us to be. We are His workers.  
My PAST qualifies me to do what i do today. God has blessed me with a mighty ministry. I'm determined to help others understand this "thing"
I'm determined to bring JOY back into the lives of the lost, broken and confused. Why? Because i KNOW it is all the plan of the enemy. He wants to see us GONE not SAVED!
In helping others, i also receive the healing i need.
I'm still going through my own battles, but VICTORY is mine :-) The Lord told me so.
Claim it. Speak it. Speak healing into your life and once you are on the road to recovery, get out there and save somebody!
Now, i did not say it would be easy. Far from. But its worth the pain along the way. Your life will depend on the changes and choices you make. God has given us the "power" of choice. So let's choose to live life filled with inner peace and joy. 
Be Blessed.

My friend/business partner, Ernie and i have ventured into a new journey JoyeRide.
Together, we have started a chat group "Real Talk For Real People" that launches Jan 25 2010 7pm at 90 Absolute Drive (Burnamthorpe & Hurontario)
This is a time to come out and discuss whatever is on your heart. Let's agree to disagree; if we have too. Let's discover ourselves and the world we live in. Together, we can find TRUTH!
To join us, please email

1 comment:

  1. Liz I just finished reading this article and I just want to tell you that you are truly amazing and an inspiration to look up to. You've come along way girl. I just hope one day that I will be able to get past my battles....or at least enough to be a survivor. I just wanted to say thank you because when I hear you say how you are a survivor it gives me hope. You are amazing and thank you so much from the bottom of my heart.