Yes I have been MIA in the blogging world for about a month or so. The only excuse I can give you is that blogging has been the last thing on my To-Do list with so many other things going on. I won't go into detail. But I mean...I am a mother, student, business owner, friend, counsellor, speaker....and it goes on (just like many of you) so you can probably forgive me. Please.
And this is the perfect introduction for what I am going to share with you today.
I often ask myself, "why do we as women carry so much guilt?" I mean really, why? Wether it's buying ourselves something and not buying something else for the kids or the hubby; but mainly the kids. If we see a spa package that costs a little too much, we decide "nahhh I don't need it." Or if we decide we need a girls evening out for dinner and some laughter, we tell ourselves that we have to be home with the kids and make up a few excuses for our girlfriends as to why we can't make it. But bottom line is, we get tired or just don't want to leave the kids behind. Some of us have even brought the kids along and end of leaving extra early because kids want to be kids and you were suppose to make it an 'a grown woman' event NOT a kiddie event so yes of course they start nagging and screaming and pulling on you everytime they see the girls getting your attention. For one reason or another we carry so much guilt in all areas of our lives. You would have enjoyed yourself much more if you just asked the hubby, gramdma, auntie or your friend to watch your little angels for you for a few hours. I am just discussing 'the kids' here. Never mind the guilt we carry, PERIOD!
With the teachings I am receiving from my pastor (Bobby Somers) I am truly learning to let go and let God be the author of my life. And if you are truly in-tuned spiritually you will know and hear when your body / spirit is telling you, let go and take a break.
For the past few vacations I have taken, I brought the boys with me. Be it together or just Captain and I. Before Captain was born my eldest and I went to Jamaica and since then my trips have been with them. Which is amazing and I would rather be with them on a beach then anyone else. However, it has been an interesting, amazing, trying yet successful year and a half for me; with the brain surgery, school, parenting, fostering, my business, publishing my book and a few other things I won't mention, and I really need a break.
First, I was tempted to take my little guy with me, and then Keeno (my 20 year old) wanted to do a road trip to Miami in which I cancelled in order to save money and print more books and of course invest in my business. Well, well well, a couple of days ago on our way back from The Zoo, Keeno out of nowhere says, "mom I was doing some thinking and I really think you need a break and need to go write and read on a beach alone, so I want to treat you for your birthday and DO NOT make up any excuses as to why you can't go, please just take me up on the offer and GO." Now I must admit within the first few seconds I was trying to think of an excuse, but how can I? I mean if my excuses were 'to save money' then what was the excuse now? Now the only excuse I had to come up with which did a number on me when I broght my eldest son (Keeno) and my foster son (Kirk) To DR two years ago, was leaving my Captain behind. By the 3rd day of that trip I was having anxiety attacks from being a world apart from him. But Keeno of course lectured me and I was ok for the remaining 4 days of the trip. But it was a challenge.
I took a deep breath and I literally got emotional at the thought of my two big boys wanting to send me away for a vacation in celebrating the past year of my life and all that we have endured as a family, together. Both the good and the trials; which worked together for His glory!
So yes, I have said YESSS and I will be going away for 7 days of rest, reading, writing, jogging at sunrise on the beach everyday, people watching, site seeing, horse back riding, meeting new people, drink lot's of fresh coconut water, swim in the fresh salt water, sleep on the beach under the umbrella, and of course DANCE DANCE DANCE! I will probably do a strict meat fast and try and stick with all fish and tons of fruits and vegetables. This break / trip will be all about me! I will take lot's of pictures and stay away from my email and maybe social media-just a little lol..Heyyy I gotta keep my people in the loop, right? LOL!
It will be a well needed BREAK from my world. Keeno booked his trip to Barcelona, Spain today so he will be away as well, only he does not have a return date :-( I mean of course he is returning but this is a mission trip and he is in no hurry to come back. I gave him my final YES when he told me if I wasn't going then he wasn't going on his mission trip to Barcelona. Of course, I had to give in.
I am free from guilt. I work hard to keep my family happy and provide us with what we need and sometimes-want, so Bahia Principe, Mexico here I come. Yes that's right I decided on a 5* Resort. Real Paradise here on earth.
Thank you all for the love and support you have given me through the years of blogging, my book and this amazing journey I have been on....that continues.