Friday, July 23, 2010
The Truth With KiKi In "ZAKIA'S CORNER"
For some time now i have wanted to start an "advice column" on the Deva blog. However; i wanted someone a lot like myself and just couldn't find THAT ONE. Yeah, i know, hard task to full fill (smiley face)
As i thought hard about this, i seemed to had given up months ago and some what put it on a back burner. I sent out emails and got many responses. However; nothing i was impressed with. Nothing personal to anyone who responded, as it just didn't give me that 100% confirmation to "go ahead"
Kia, a great and personal friend of mine who lives far away (sad face) and i have wanted to badly to start a business together and have actually come close to doing so in the past. I believe with all my heart the ONLY thing that has stopped us, was DISTANCE! I admire, love and highly respect this woman in every way. Actually there was a point in time where Kia was making plans to move to Toronto and another time when i was planning on moving to Philly. It did not happen but we never gave up on the idea of working together some way some how!
KiKi is that individual i call for a great laugh. She is that smile i vision when i am having a rough day. It is her laugh i love to hear when i need to laugh. If i could still have the security and jobs i have now, but be closer to her, i would move in heart beat.
But distance never stopped Kia and i from communicating. We never lost touch and after she gave birth to her precious boy, we had even more in common.
Not to long ago, she contacted me in regards to starting a "column" for the Deva Blog, and i JUMPED on it...literally. I truly believe Kiki will establish wonderful and lasting relationships with the readers and will have an answer to almost everything. If she doesn't, believe this woman will go google it at 3am just to make sure SHE GOT IT! lol She is motivated, hard working, determined, open and NOT AFRAID!
I have attached an interview with Kiki and i for you to get an up close and personal feel for her. I will let Kia tell you a bit about herself and what to expect with her official Deva "The Truth With Kiki" Chat Column launching Aug 2010
Liz- Hey KIKI, girl i miss you so much and am so grateful to God for this opportunity to work with you on this project. As you know we gotta keep it real and give the readers your FULL BACKGROUND check ma. lol
Although i know you very well and have chosen you among many who have wanted to start an "advice/ask..." column on the Deva blog, I'm still going to ask you some casual and maybe personal questions.
We just want to know THE TRUTH WITH KIKI! (wink)
Some of these questions if not many, i already know the answers to, but this is not about me, right? Right! Okay here we go;
How many toes do you have?....JOKE! Alright let's get serious.
Where do you live and where were you born?
I was born and raised all over the Philadelphia Area. I currently live in a small township just outside of Philadelphia.
What do you currently do for a living?
Right now I am contracting with a few agencies; to provide direct in-home or in school care to youth ages 6-17 that have been diagnosed with a either a mental health need, behavior problem, and or autism
What's your resume lady? lol Tell us a bit about your background check lol.
My background professionally is as checked and wide as my personal background. I currently hold two degrees; B.S in social work/ criminal justice and a Master's in Business and Organizational Management. I am currently enrolled in Bryn Mawr School of Social work, where i am earning a dual degree in Master's of Social Work and Master's of Social and Legal Policy.
Any spiritual beliefs?
Everyday I see the makings of something beautiful in my life.... even when i feel that I am undeserving......I see beauty in a world that can sometimes seem full of craziness....i know there is something bigger going on.... something divine.
What was your childhood like?
My childhood was full of ups and downs. Mostly ups!!!! I was raised with my three sisters by a single mother in a strong and connected family unit. My mom was a realist always; she spoiled us enough so that we knew what the world had to offer, yet she was hard and stern with us so that we understood that life takes hard work and persistence to make the life you want... I grew up in the hood (as people like to say) but my mom worked hard at exposing us to the world beyond the small urban communities we lived in. I learned early on that where i am is not where i have to be......
How did you and Liz meet? Was it love at first site? Or a slow process? lol
Yeah I guess I would call my first encounter with Liz love at first sight. We met at Wet Willies Patio in Miami years ago. I sat with my friends, she sat with hers....tables side by side....yet fate had its way.. Some way or another we began talking.... hours later we sere still talking....discovering so much about each other... and making plans to keep in touch. It was a rainy day in Miami so the patio inside was packed and it was like no one else existed but us! Now nearly 7 years later we are still here.. Friendship/Love in tact....
Tell us a bit about mom and dad?
My mom is a loving complex strong black woman who raised four daughters alone. My father is also black, he has limited education and has been an " on the wagon, off the wagon" kind of dad my whole life. Mostly absent. At the age 15, I decided that I did not want to have relationship with him. Which resulted in "no communication at all" between us until I was 27 years old. It was then i learned that i had a baby brother whom had been placed into foster care....I began the process in getting custody of my brother. This created situations where my dad and I had to speak. But the talks were and are brief, casual, and rare despite my constant efforts to have him maintain a relationship with my brother.
I know you are the "whole package" kind of gal; great mother, fab woman, intelligent, business minded, kind heart and let me not forget Ms.Fashionista lol, but why do you think people gravitate to you so quickly? Why are others so quick to seek advice from you and was it always like that? I mean from childhood?
I believe that people gravitate to my spirit. It's true, simple, and understanding. I am not a judgemental person.... now don't get me wrong, I may have my own thoughts and they may be different from yours... but I am in no quest to be "right". I tell my friends all the time...I just want to offer you a different perspective but remember just because I say it; doesn't make it right.
Yes I have always been the girl that everyone goes to since childhood. I believe because i've always been fair. I never really had a fear of standing alone as long as I believed in what I was standing for. I never went with the majority. I had girlfriends but i was always open to more. I get to know people and treat them based on my experience with them.... thats a good trait and i've learned that people gravitate to that as well.
Its crazy how some people stick with you more than others.. as a child i would hear all the time "treat people how you want to be treated"
that's how I live... i tell people the truth even if it hurts. I forgive, i understand, i love....because I also make mistakes, and have caused pain. But all i want....are all the things that I give. Life's to short!!!
What are some of your future goals?
I am blessed abundantly right now. For the first time, i am at that crossroad where my life can go in so many ways.....and they are all positive and exciting... so I am taking my time trying new things, following my heart and trusting that what God has for me, is for ME!
I will say that whatever i do i am committed to touching lives.
What inspires you?
My beautiful son Kingston....
What are you currently doing with your time?
Enjoying being a mom, loving and supporting my brother. School, work, gym ,life, love, and girl weekends.
What do you hope to get out of this blog column?
I hope to help add on to a site that gives women from all walks of life a place to go to be supported, uplifted, and connected in a way that gives you a feeling of strength to take on the world..... Also its important to have a place where you can go and get "checked" if need be, with some honest truth... We love you girls..... but lets keep it real..... sometimes we are our own problems... can we say baggage...resentment...low self-esteem...
Okay so now for some personal questions and chat lol. Have you ever fallen in love?
Have you ever fallen out of love?
yes (still smiling).....at least the love happened.
Do you believe in love at "first sight"
Do you believe once a cheater, always a cheater?
No, I believe that people are in different places in their lives. Some good, some bad. I believe that some learn from their mistakes and when you know better you do better right
The key is learning.... even infidelity can bring enlightenment...It's important not to become the victim but to learn the lesson so that you don't repeat it. This holds true whether your the cheater or the "unsuspecting spouse"
Do you forgive and forget or forgive but never forget?
I wish I could forgive and forget but my life experiences have taught me that's not always the best choice. So I forgive honey but there's the little black box in the back of my head that keeps me on my toe's...lol
Do you support "gay" relationships?
I support love. I support individuals finding their own place in this huge fast pace world... I leave the judgement to GOD.
What do you think heaven is like?
For me, its hard to come up with a vision. God has shown me so much amazement and beauty in this world....I can't imagine heaven. I think i'll wait on the surprise *wink*
Do you believe "depression" is a mind thing and that it is something that "YOU" can control and not drugs?
I believe depression can become a mind thing. There are so many external factors; poverty, lost, violence, love, children, and jobs that can lead to depression. These things are to some degree out of your control therefore making it seem that you can't control your depression, anger and feelings. I believe thats because we are working so hard on the wrong things. Try working on acceptance first. Accept who you are and your sitaution. Think and Dream. What do you want? Dream of? Start taking the steps toward that goal.
I live in the serenity prayer... and its not easy beating depression. But it can be done with or without meds. Sometimes we have to trust in the faith of others around you....until yours kick in!
What is the "MUST HAVE" accessorie for the summer?
Would you ever get a face lift? Or surgery on any body parts?
Maybe. Not now.. but since I'm forever changing.....I'm sure that answer may change. lol
Any favourite celebs or fashionistas? Actually who inspires you fashion wise?
Rachel Zoe, Victoria Beckman, Monica, and Mary J Blige. I believe its all about knowing your body and being aware of what works for you. I kinda like to think i'm unique so I can't focus one one person. My style is about mixing and matching simple with grand gestures. I love to be done up....as long as i still feel like myself.
Who inspires you spiritually?
My God. My desire to be a reflection of his vision inspires me and my son makes me want to grow in spirit and also build on his foundations.
Do you believe married couples should stay together for the sake of their kids?
No. I think the best thing that parents can do for their children is to let them see them "Happy" The way God intended you to be. Sometimes thats together, but sometimes its not. Things we do not plan for constantly happen in our lives. It's more important for parents to teach their children how to bounce back and move forward.
How do you feel about "stay home" moms? The ones that have it made that is? Meaning hubby is out making all the money.
Don't really have a feeling. People should do what's best for them. I do encourage these women to be involved in something outside of home; either part time work, volunteering or, social groups. Too often women loose themselves in "their roles". Its important to maintain an identity outside of "mommy" or "wife"
What do you think of women who have sugar daddies? Do you support that?
To each his/her own. People are at different points in their journey and we must meet them where they are. I wouldn't say that i support it because the reality is it will happen regardless whether i or you support it or not. I just wish that women who have this situation sold themselves for more than designer bags, and material things. I wish women could see that everything we need is already within us. Men compliment us. They should never make or complete you. Still some learn through turbulences...I believe they should have the freedom to do so.
What are your thought on biracial relationships?
Love is love. Color will matter as much as we allow it.
What is your pet peeve and why?
Liars....there's no need.
What is true beauty to you?
Comfort in your own skin.
Smiles of babies and children
Too many to pick one....
What is a must have "home accessoris?"
Finally, why the "deva blog?"
Because if Liz's heart and commitment.
What are your political views?
My views politically reflect my needs and those of my family. I believe in educating myself on the issues and making informed choices... I am registered as a democrat but I have learned to support/ be loyal to the issue not always the party
Tell the readers a bit about "The Truth With Kiki" and what they can expect.
The truth about Kiki will be you're one stop shop for a dose of truth, tips from parenting & shopping to dating. It will always provide a perspective that is positive, encouraging and delivered with the reality check that we sometimes need. Think of the girlfriend that you call for the truth, some laughs, a listening ear, or confirmation/ support on a choice you are struggling with... well I will be that girlfriend. your sister from another mister....lol.....
....And i know you will be! I love you girl and am so excited for the blog. You are a FAB addition to The D.e.v.a Group Ms Lady.
I'm not very happy you won't be making it for my birthday visit...but i will see you soon. Meet you half way, right? OKay, let's not give up on that plan mami.
Ladies, look out for The Truth With Kiki addition to The Deva Blog this Aug.