Let me the first to tell you, that owning and sharing your story is going to be a huge part of your healing.
It happened. It was real. It happened and you've got to feel the emotions and share them Now!! I didn't say "dwell on them" - share them and then let it go.
Share your story with someone who deserves to hear it. Someone whom you can count on to respond with compassion. Shame hates being shared. It hates it because 'shame' cannot survive being shared. It's no longer alive when it's shared. It loves secrecy. It manifests into anger, guilt and depression when it's kept a secret. The most dangerous thing to do- is hide your story. It's crippling.
Hiding my story is what led me to make most of the negative choices I made. It's what kept me living in guilt. You've got to be brave. You've got to talk NOW!
But here is the thing about sharing and letting it out; you can't just talk to anyone and you shouldn't. You've got to reach out to someone who you KNOW 100% is filled with true compassion for life, for others and for the world. It's hard to share a 'shame' story with someone who is still living in their own 'shame' story. If you're looking to heal and get past your shame then reach out to someone who is deeply rooted. This person will be open to listen and not judge. This person should be one who will listen and then share her own vulnerability stories. This will also be a person who won't feel sorry for you, rather she will empower and uplift you. She will walk you through your emotions and ensure you that tomorrow is and will be a better day. She will not entertain a pitty party with you. That's not compassion.
You've got to be courageous. You've got to reach out and ask for help. I see courage in myself all the time. When I open up to students and women from all walks of life; willing to be vulnerable enough to share my faults and the life choices I made that held me captive in my own frame of mind.
The less you talk about - what you call and think is your 'shame story' is the more that story of yours has control over you. Shame is the fear of being 'un-lovable' - it's the complete opposite of feeling worthy and owning our story.
Shame is all about fear.
Today, I challenge you to take off the mask and be YOU. Whoever that is, dig down and find her. Let people know who you are and what your story is. Your story is your power, Embrace it. Love it and share it. The world needs YOUR story!