Wednesday, August 29, 2012

How I Found My Purpose - A True Story!

 As I look back over the past three years of my life, I realize what an amazing amount of transformation I've experienced. I would like to share my story with you in hopes that you will read it and find the inspiration you need in order to become the person they were truly meant to be and born to be.

I am about to share a story with you that is deep and personal to me. A story that only a very few people which are those closest to me, will know.

If you have read my book you will read through my pages; stories that don't make what i do today seem like such a surprise. I have always had an open heart and a desire to change the world and be a mother to those around me. I even did with with my dolls as you will also read in my memoir. However life's struggles and the choices i made led me to a very destructive path and enabled me to believe in myself or make something out of what i already was. A young girl who wanted to see happiness in the world. A broken child who craved nothing but to show love in hopes to get some back. I thought if i can show "them" love, they will know how to love me back. I often had dreams about peace in the world and had visions of what that would look like. As a child i had many dreams of angels singing to me, dancing with me and playing with me. I would wake up and tell my sister i wished life was really like that. Unfortunately there was nothing angelic about my world. My vuvo (grandmother) said i would have these dreams because i am an angel :-)

I say this to say; three years ago i went through a very hurtful separation. I thought i was a happily married woman when out of nowhere adultery came and ripped it all apart. I was confused and had no idea why it all happened and still i don't have those answers. But i have forgiven him and given it to God to deal with. Two months prior to my separation, i launched my company A self development and counseling organization.
 Once i got married i started transforming into a very non-social like person. I had cut off all my friends but a couple and had no communication with my siblings or family members. Except my little brother and mother. I often felt alone as i was not entertaining my friends and family at home as i loved doing so prior to meeting him. Granted i was caring for 5 foster kids, 2 boys of my own and my sister in law. So 10 bodies within the house-hold. Now that's a lot of cooking you know (lol) but i love to cook so i never complained. I did however feel deep down inside - a void. A sense of sadness. I wasn't myself anymore.Although you would never know this from the outside- looking in. Not a single soul ever knew this. I had married a man who was my complete opposite, who did not laugh, who never ever left the house unless it was urgent or church and was NOT by any means a people's person at all. Now when you do the math and you know anything about me, your probably saying "HUH??? How did that happen?" Well, the truth is i was desperate to be married and wanted to make someone happy. You see now..? That same desire i had as a young girl actually never went away.

When i came up with the concept for my business, i knew deep in my heart it would be an outlet for me to start planning events again for women, to be social again with women, to empower women, to encourage them and to be myself again. To do my part in volunteering for the community again. I was desperate for something. Anything to do with empowerment. I tell ya Gods timing is the BEST timing. 2 months later a disaster broke out in my home and off i went to a shelter with my 2 kids. My friends, this was the scariest yet most fulfilling time in my life. I spent 2 months in a shelter with other women, mothers and their children; in a fully furnished apartment with my one and a half old Captain and my 17 year old Keeno. I left my husband (at the time) with nothing more then 3 garbage bags, 2 of shoes and one of clothing (lol). My sons clothing and my integrity. The Lord knew my heart, He knew what was ahead of me, He knew my desires and He knew just where to place me at a time where i was trying to find purpose. In a building filled with broken, beaten, homeless, neglected women. These women had more issues then i had ever had in my entire life. For 2 months i went to and from work everyday, dropped my Captain off at daycare, my Keeno went to work, came home and cooked daily, read with my boys, played with my boys and bonded with Keeno for what seemed like the first time in a couple years (since i had married). Tears are rolling down my cheeks as i type this.

A month prior to the break-out i started planning my company launch event "D.e.v.a Day Brunch" My aim was to have about 70 to 80 women there. Originally.

The day after i checked myself and the boys into the shelter, i got on their computer and continued to work away on that event. I was not going to allow the devil to use yet another trial to rob me of my purpose again. I was tired of letting him have his way with me. I planned away every morning on that computer in the resource room from 6am to 8am before i got ready and left for work; i worked on sponsorships, media kits, social media advertising, interviews, meeting, vendors, promotions, selling tickets, finding performers, speakers, programs, music, food etc. I had never been more determined in my life to get something done. Oh by the way i did this all while going through HELL with the people involved in the scandal. Nothing i had ever gone through as a child was as hurtful (so it seemed at the time. It was actually a walk in the park).

At the end of my days i would go and pick up my Captain with a big smile on my face, we went to parks, the beaches, indoor playgrounds and got involved with community programs and all with a sense of joy and anticipation to get back to our shelter apartment to be with the other moms and their children. The three of us slept in the same room on 2 different beds. We spent night after night laughing so much i sware i almost peed my pajamas a few times. I would wake up early in the mornings and knock on the other women's doors to get them out of their bed and depression. I would bring them downstairs and make breakfast for them. I would help them to get their children up and ready. I encouraged them. Empowered them. Shared myself with them and in return i got healing and understanding. I was able to handle what was going on because the Lord had my mind on my purpose.

The kind of women that lived in that shelter were exactly the clientele i was aiming The D.e.v.a In You for. Women and youth at risk. I remember one evening one of the program facilitators in the shelter asked if i could attend one of the workshops- that week- to encourage the women residing there to get up and do something about their situations. I asked "Why me?" and her reply was, "Elizabeth in all the years i have been here i have never seen a women come in here and use her time here to plan an event to empower women."
It was right then and there that i heard God say "You are not here by accident. Your purpose begins here."

Those who knew said, "wow Liz of all times, look when this happened. Right when you were launching this women's company."

So yes to all 250 of you beautiful women who attended my launch, The D.e.v.a Day Brunch October 3rd 2009 and witnessed me speak, present and walk around with that amazing glow all day while 17 vendors catered to your needs and filled the atmosphere with fun and their services, i was indeed living in a shelter. It was shortly before the event day, that i found a place for my family and i where we could start over and call our home. Out of the 250 women, 9 of them were from the shelter. A couple even brought their children.

Many of you mentioned the fact that i had lost so much weight (15 pounds) well now you know why. Do you remember when i broke down while i was on the mic presenting my speech to Vanessa? Now you know why.

I thank God for also sending women into my life at that time who helped to uplift me, encourage me, pray with me wee hours of the night, tend to my emotional needs in my home at 1...2 in the morning. Who helped me financially while living at the shelter, brought me packs of pampers, listened to me, cried with me. These two women i will forever remember, for the rest of my life. Vanessa Wheatle and Colleen Blake Miller.
Yes there were other women who encouraged me but these two were my ROCKS! Two awesome women of God!

So there, now you have it. How i found my purpose.
 My dear friend Karen Miller said to me the other day, "from childhood, you were called to mother the motherless." The gift was always there only now i am walking with it and in it on purpose :-)

You are in your situation on purpose with purpose. Search deep into what is going on around you and ask yourself "what can i do about this and with this?" The pieces are there, now start putting them together.
This is my story.

Love Lizzy


  1. Mommacita........ your words, so impactful & timely as usual...... tears.... all I can say is so greatful your here, lets talk soon SO PROUD OF YOU, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!!!! LOVE YOU

  2. Love you mama. Thank you. I love writing articles like this because it reminds me of where I am coming from and where I am now. I am still on my journey and obviously that will never stop but God am I ever so thrilled to re-discover what I had lost. Love you baby girl.