Hints for Effective Communication With Your Adult Children

If there is ONE thing I know I definitely mastered in life, it was and is the relationship between my 22 year old son and I. I thank God everyday for giving me the strength, wisdom and patience to be the mother he needs me to be- consistently. He has loved me unconditionally and his love is and has always been the reason I strive to rise higher.

Now in saying this, many of my friends and family have asked me how Keeno (my son) and I have managed to have such a healthy strong bond? Even throughout his teenage years, we had zero drama! My only answer to this is COMMUNICATION! I really don't know what else to say. Well, that accompanied with respect. I have always respected his space and his need to have his own voice. I may not agree with everything he says or believes BUT at the end of the day, he is an individual apart from me. He is apart of me, but we are not one being.

I want to share a few tips with you on how we've managed to be open and honest with one another. He has never feared me and he has always respected my advice and views.

Lizzy's Own Words of Advice:


1. Build a foundation of laughter and feel good moments:

There is no one on this planet that makes me laugh harder than my sons. No one! I mean, I laugh until I can't breath with them. Keeno and I have these moments at least 4 times a week- or more. Learn to have fun with your children. No matter that their age may be, they are the funniest beings on earth. They are so innocent and open to doing the silliest things. Embrace their desires to build a fort under the kitchen table and those days they just want to roll down a hill with you. Be present with your kids. When you become present with them, you will have some of the greatest moments of your life. If you have children, you shouldn't under any circumstance be lonely or unhappy.


2. Think Before You Speak!

Have I always mastered this? NO!!! However, I have learned through experience, that this is something many of us moms do not do. I am sure this is something we have all struggled with. As the bible states, "the power of life and death lies in the tongue" We can seriously harm our children emotionally (and others) with the words we use. My son and I have said things to one another that we wish we didn't. The most important part here is that we said sorry and didn't repeat the same mistake over again. I can count maybe 3 times in his whole life, this has happened. Of course our emotions get the best of us. Think before you speak.

Now the BIG one!


LISTEN!!!!

Half of communication is composed on what we send out. And the other half consists of the messages we receive. My biggest struggle USE to be- speaking over another person when I felt my opinion or what I had to say was more important. Believe it or not, my son is the one who taught me to LISTEN! I have watched him sit back and bite his tongue while disputing something- only because he wanted the other person to finish speaking. Those were lessons in my life about my own integrity. I've barely ever seen him angry or yelling (outside of 2 times). He simply speaks his mind in a calm and humble manner and does a fantastic job at getting his point across AFTER listening. If you want to have a healthy strong relationship with your children, you've got to hear them out. After all, they do have their own opinions you know. Who says you're always right? Not to say it's a right or wrong matter here. You've just got to listen more. Most of out children just want to be heard.


My FINAL one:

Trust and believe that your son / daughter will do a fantastic job in any and everything they do. If they don't, oh well. Did you live a perfect life with no mistakes? No you didn't. So let them grow up. Just as you are also STILL growing.


Love, Lizzy

Understanding Your Power!

I am back! It's been a minute...I know and forgive me please. I am all moved in and settled. I feel like the summer flew right passed me. But I am enjoying the little of what we have left by the waterfront.

Well, as I went on my morning run today, I began thanking God (out loud) for my power. I realized while running, just how much power we hold. Especially women. We tend to give it all away. Especially in relationships. Not that I wasn't aware of this 'power' before BUT for some reason, I had an AHA moment this morning. Love those.

I truly believe one of the ways to loose your power is through the ego. I must admit, it was something I battled with in the past and thank God for deliverance because I have come a long way- I tell ya. Not letting go of the past, keeps you from moving forward in power and in purpose.

Look, I am here sitting at my computer at this moment to tell you this; EVERYTHING is possible for you and if it's not, than it's just not apart of Gods will for your life. So if you're sitting there crying over a job you didn't get, that's because it was NOT apart of Gods purpose for your life. Get over it and continue with your power.

I don't think my father or mother ever had a dream for my life. I really can't imagine they'd sit there wondering what I'd become or picture me in a particular career. The quicker I could get out of high school and into a job was the only wish I know they had. It was the same desire they verbalized for my older brother. But, I am sure that's because they were too caught up with their own 'stuff' to care.

But I tell you this, I always knew I would not turn out to be anything like what the world expected me to be. I knew I held too much power to end up that way. How did I know this? It was my ability to get back up and brush my shoulders off- each time I got hit with something that pretty much had the potential to kill me. This started at the age of five. I believed with all my heart that there was something bigger and greater for me. I had no idea what the timing looked like. But I held onto faith. Even as a young girl I had an idea of what 'faith' meant. Thanks to my avo.

It's quite ironic that the call on my life was obvious because of what I loved as a child. I use to sit my dolls down in a classroom type setting and teach them. But I wasn't acting as an ordinary school teacher. I was counseling them. Telling them to hang in there. Asking them questions like, "who's hurting you? You can tell me...." I would sit there and pretend that my dolls were answering back. I'd imagine them as little girls telling me their daddy was hurting them or that their friend was hurting their feelings. I would also dress them up by making skirts and dresses out of my step mother's material in her sewing baskets. I was actually counseling and nurturing my love of fashion all at the same time. This started at a very young age. It was my escape from my real world. When I got a little older, in my teens, I would dream about being an author and writing books for abused girls. I'd often write in my diary about my desire to be a motivational writer- without really understanding what that meant. I only knew I wanted to help girls. All along, no one really knew 'my story' yet.

I encourage you today, to look deep within at the things that make your soul happy. What is it that brings you to life? Is it writing? Is it teaching? Is it volunteering? There is great power in you that needs to unleashed as the amazing Tony Robins puts it.

How do you discover that power?

NUMBER ONE:

Tell the truth about where you are RIGHT NOW!

Example " I am fearful. I am scared. I do not feel worthy. I don't believe in myself enough to do it" then say this out loud in front of a mirror, "BUT I AM EXCITED TO GIVE THIS MY ALL AND MOST IMPORTANTLY I AM EXCITED ABOUT MY TRANSFORMATION!!!! There is power inside of me that I need to share with the world!!!!"



Now get ready get set...GOOOO!!!!

A Message from Lizzy!

You're probably wondering "what's up with Liz?" LOL. Yes it's been about a month since I've blogged. I miss it and can't wait to get back on track. I am enjoying my summer off with the kids and working hard on a few upcoming projects I will be launching soon.

I will back in the blogging game in a couple more weeks. So don't give up on me :-) I have a long list of blogging ideas to write about, interviews with some amazing women and a couple or treats for you all.

I will definitely share my summer testimony with you soon. All I can say, as I always say, GOD is sooooo GOOD! Yes He is.

My message to YOU:

Do not judge your current situation as the outcome of the journey. Whatever is happening right now in your life, is happening for your own personal growth and for the blessing you're suppose to get out of it. Whether it's a lesson learned or for your own personal development and maturity. Maybe you're suppose to walk away from something toxic in your life and it's the only way God could actually get you to walk away.

I promise you, there is purpose in your pain!

If it's hard (your situation) than DO it hard!! Give it all you got.

Now do me a favor, go and stand up in front of a mirror. Like right now... Whether it's a bathroom mirror at work or maybe you got one of the little ones in your purse. Ok are you there???

Say this out loud:


Because I am a believer, I AM an achiever!!

I am a dreamer! And I matter!

I feel GOOD and I am wide awake. I am aware!

I AM a world changer!

I am NOT ordinary! I matter and I am unique!

Because I AM HERE!!!!


No matter what it is, it's not that serious. Live the life you were created to live. A life of PURPOSE! Whether you have 60 years left to live or 60 days, LIVE!!!!!

Love Lizzy