Many of us, if not most of us, need to do forgiveness work. I know I do. We have got to love ourselves enough to let go. Forgiveness completely opens the heart to self-love.
We carry grudges for years and years. We harden our hearts because of what "they" did to us. I call it being stuck in the prison of pride. We get to be right but we never get to be FREE.
You may be saying (like I have said many times), "you have no idea what he / she did to me, it's unforgiveable." Being unwilling to forgive will keep us trapped. It's not about letting them go necessarily. It's about letting YOURSELF GO! Living in bitterness is like swallowing a spoon of poison everyday. It harms us and eventually takes over the body affecting the well being of our health. I got caught up in an unforgiveness attack just days ago and the following day, I was so exhausted I could barely function on my work. It was a complete waist of my time and energy. It is impossible to be healthy when we keep ourselves bond to hurt. We tend to think and feel that if we forgive them then we are saying what they did was okay. Yes, that's right, we do this.
It really hit me yesterday after conversing with someone, that "they" did the best they knew how to do. They gave you the best they had at that moment. People can only do so much with the knowledge they have. Please believe that most people who mistreat us were also mistreated as a child at some point in their lives. Hurting people-hurt people. The greater the abuse, the greater their own pain. I have also hurt people and it goes back to my OWN childhood. This is not to say we are condoning their / our behaviour. However, for our own healing, we must be aware of their pain.
When we stay in unforgiveness, we are not giving ourselves the freedom to live.
Tell yourself today, "I will not waist another moment trying to get EVEN." It will only keep you back.
So let's drop the baggage here and work on loving ourselves and even those who hurt us. Some of them, NOT all, actually think of the pain they caused you everyday of their lives. Especially if it is someone you will have to have in your life for the rest of your life. I doubted this for awhile, but I NOW KNOW it is true. Please believe it. If there is a particular person in your life that hurt you (that you love or once loved) and this person will remain apart of your life forever) you have to forgive him / her. You have the power to build a healthy relationship with that individual. But you have to CHOOSE to Just Do It! Love that person back to their position of love. You may be the only person in his / her life that has the tools to do this. I am not saying it's going to be easy. But most GREAT things aren't. And love is great!
The people we are having a hard time forgiving have taught us the greatest lessons. Let's be thankful and forgive. Sometimes the thought of freedom frightens us and being stuck in our old bitterness feels safer. Don't let it trick you another moment.
Forgive them and forgive YOURSELF! You did the very best you could. Love yourself through this process. Live for right now and move forward.
Love, Lizzy
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