A very Special THANK YOU!

I was amazed at my capacity to love when i laid eyes on my first child. It is truly the closest we come to rebirth in this life. I felt in an instant a love that i have never experienced or thought possible. I would gladly give up my life for this innocent being. Having a child has been described as "walking around with your heart outside of your body." This is truth.




My letter.


Keeno:

If we could have summed up my longing when i looked at you in your first minutes of life- it would be to raise a "good man." You are a good man. This is the highest compliment I can give.

It is amazing how I literally had you while I was still a child myself (18) I’m sure there were more things I could have done as a mum bringing you up. Maybe I’m too hard on myself because when I think back to the special young boy you were and the young man that you are now, I feel like SUPER mom lol. How did I do it? I don’t really know. All I can say is God was and is truly with us my son. I’m not going to go into any gussshy details because I know you get all shy and stuff so I will save it. But I wanted to publicly display my love and appreciation for you here on my blog so that world can see just how blessed I am.

Keeno, you have been my rock! You are such an amazing young man and an OLD soul (as many say) I’m proud of how much you have accomplished. I’m proud of your dedication to your brother and how many times you are there for me as his BIG BROTHER lol. Even those days you rather stay in bed all day, you get up and go sleep with your brother in case he wakes up looking for my mommy while mommy is at work. You have barely ever said no. Not because you can’t but because you just want to be there for me.

All I want of you or from is to be a GOOD man. I fear in our culture the understanding of what a good man is has been lost- or worse considered irrelevant or unimportant. When I was a child everyone knew what it meant. A good man is honourable. His word is his bond. Other men respect him. He stays the course. He is protective of the weak, elderly, and vulnerable. He takes care of his family- in every sense. He does not seek a fight- but is willing to fight if necessary. Children and women who have a good man for a father, grandfather, brother or husband are blessed. Without him- the center does not hold. At a man's funeral the highest eulogy one can give is, "He was a good man." It is the greatest legacy you can leave.

There is a saying that one's strength is also one's greatest weakness. Anyone who lives by a code of honour is vulnerable in some ways. The only way I want you to live by is GODS way. Keeno along this path you are guided, protected and never alone. No matter what the storms may bring.

Despite what the media may say or despite the way others live, I offer you what I have learned in the spirit of love and respect. I have made some mistakes; many actually in anger, but my son, take what you can use from my advice and leave the rest. I offer you my words of "wisdom" from the belief that the most meaningful, productive, and rewarding life is achieved through having a happy marriage and family. I believe if a marriage is full of conflict, and unhappiness, and your home and family are not a sanctuary…a safe and loving environment for your children to grow up in- no outside accomplishment can make up for this loss. So everything I share with you is toward helping you achieve this goal.

As a good man you are particularly vulnerable because there are limits on your behaviour. You do not lie, you have a giving and open heart, and you would never abuse a woman in any way. You are protective and you are willing to endure hardship for the ones you love. However, never give up being a good man “just cuz”

On women! Life is a dance. Relationships between men and women are a dance. To make it work you both have to be doing the same dance, and it has to be one you both want to do. Get that right- and the rest is details. ( I think you are safe here)

My son , I love you . Like I said earlier this week, you are MY FIRST LOVE!






Captain:

Son, when you were born and the doctor confirmed "It's a boy", your father and I were filled with joy and awe. He had prayed and hoped for a son and claims he knew I was having a boy. I knew that having a son would heal your father in ways that nothing else would. I knew so much about boys but longed in my heart for a son to complete your father’s life. You would think through having another son, I would better understand the mysteries of men. LOL Captain from the day you were born- you have been our joy.

You have surpassed our wildest dreams and hopes for you. We could not love you more, or be more proud of you. Everyday of your life you have brought us deep joy, love and pride. You are our bridge to the future, our legacy, and our hope.

If you are wondering who came up with the name “Captain” It was daddy. The moment you came out and got placed on the weighing table, dad walked over and said “wow look at the Captain”… and from there on, the nurses, myself, your visitors and family called you Captain. There were a couple who called you “Q” but that did not last.

My baby boy, I love you so much. I am actually sooo in love with you. There is nothing you can do to upset me. Keeno says “Mom your are Captains punk” lol Well than let that be so lol.

Captain, you filled the void I was missing in my life for so many years. You have given me so much to look forward too. You make me smile even when you are sleeping. The way you kiss me even when you are still half asleep or when you cuddle up so close to me that many nights I have fallen off the bed...MY BED which you still sleep in lol. I think I’m the one that won’t let go of you staying in my bed lol…The way you tell me “Mommy you so buutuful…mommy you so cute” while at the same time playing with my hair or gently running your hands on my face. My son, no matter what this world has brought my way, seeing your face, hearing your voice and feeling your precious little hands all over my skin will always sooth that pain. You are the perfect son. You have lightened Keeno’s life in ways you would never imagine. LOL. I’m sitting here typing away with tears of joy rolling down my face because I am picturing the two of you with your craziness..dancing…singing…wrestling and sometimes fusing lol. You are so special and always remember that GOD blessed daddy and I the day you were born.

Captain you are “The Love of My Life” and Keeno is “My First Love”

It is Thanksgiving and I am thankful today for my two boys.

God is truly amazing.







What I Would Do For You

© Jayne Sena

I would do just about anything you'd ask,

For you there's nothing I wouldn't do, there's no such task.

I would walk without my shoes to the end of the Earth,

I would give up anything I had to, to teach you self worth.

I would hold your hand every minute of every day,

But I won't because I know you need to find your own way.

I would surely bear the heartache of your first love that's real,

Even though I can't, I will naturally feel as you feel.

I would sell my soul if it would keep you happy forever,

I would give my right arm to keep us forever together.

I would run a hundred miles up-hill in the rain,

Just to guarantee that you will never feel pain.

I would laugh with you even if I was sad,

I will give you a smile even if I'm mad.

I can only accept your mistakes with a grin on my face,

I will guide you in correcting them, but at your own pace.

I will guide you through life, as this world can get quite wild,

Just don't you ever forget that you will always be my child.




**The bond that a person develops with his mother can never be severed. You grew as an organism inside her for nine months. She carried you and sustained you, sharing her sustenance with you through your umbilical cord. When you are born the cord is severed. It is never severed in her heart. That bond lasts forever. As we grow up we become our own people and may come to forget that woman who nurtured and loved us. But remember this, she will never forget you and never stop loving you.