A Nurse, Provider, Referee, Chef, Chauffeur...A Hero!

I became a single mother pretty much when my now 17 year old son was still in diapers. When i say single mother i mean two things, one- not married and two - his dad was in and out. By that time, 1990's being a single mother was a common thing. It was "almost" excepted... Outside of those finger pointing folk of course and some quite influential. Who, saw us as child neglecting, not worthy, poor and selfish. They saw our children as disturbing, loud, mis-behaved, and dysfunctional. That in my eyes is and was a bunch of nonsense. Many single mothers are caring, sensitive, hard working, capable and loving. Most of their kids turn out just fine. My son is a living testimony to this. With people like these "finger pointing folk" it only makes for many mothers and their kids an already difficult situation all more difficult.

If we think we are looked at as monsters to these individuals, just think of how difficult it was in the 1930's and 1940's for women raising their children as single mothers. The discrimination and hardships they endured were heart breaking. I don't have any family members that were single mothers then. My father and mother were the first to break that flow when they divorced back in the 1980's. However i have read about and heard many personal stories from much older women about being a single a mother back then,

But even now in 2010 women are dealing with the same old misconceptions and criticisms that have haunted single mothers and their children for many decades.

Now of course laws and attitudes affecting sinlge families are better today then in the past. But they are still facing hardships and discriminations.....and sadly still do not get the credit they deserve.

It is interesting though that when men are raising their children as "single dads" they are praised and looked as "An awesome father, strong, responsible, caring...and many times a KEEPER (in the eyes of women)" Hmmmm think about how true this is.

I personally think it is time for us to truly look into the souls of these women and what is there. Strength, beauty, perserverance, A WOMAN, A MOTHER.

Let's start talking about the heartening and timeless truths about single-mothers and not about how she became a single mother. Wether by chance or by choice, we are doing the hardest job on earth-alone. For most of us we are doing it very well. with prayer, love, faith, grace and integrity. Its time to give single mothers the praises they deserve. Afterall a child is a blessing.

Call up a single mother today and tell her she is A HERO!

Chosen Single Mother of The Month:
The Late Ann Duham who sent a message to all single moms today that even if we are left to raise our child alone, they can become something great one day. She is the Kansas born late mother of Barack Obama, the 44th President of the USA.

If you are a single mother, please comment on your road to SUCCESS :-))

G.O.D - Girl's of Destiny Workshop / Brunch

Girl's of Destiny Brunch
is a motivational & self awareness workshop for young women ages 12 - 19

There will be 5 speakers at this event:

Louise Fox - Manners On The Go! (table and social etiquette)
Gloria McLeod - Analysis in Hair (hair care and techniques)
Ruth & Jaime - Sexual Warfare (teen talk)
Sandra Jones - Destiny's Child (girl talk)
Ibrahim Downey - Stand Up ( real talk)


The D.E.V.A ladies believe in the importance of supportive communities in the positive development of young people. We want Girl's of Destiny to
acknowledge and embrace their gifts and build them up to be leaders.

Let's come together and help these young women become the women G.O.D created them to be.

There will only be 70 tickets and we would like to sponsor 30 girl's who are
not able to attend for personal reasons (most likely financially) We are asking you to consider sponsoring a couple young women or a table of 6 ($25each) at $150.

Even if you can sponsor one young girl which would only cost $25…please do so. We have chosen 4 community centres in the projects of GTA to sponsor these 30 girls from. Please consider it. I myself was born and raised in the projects (St.Jamestown / Regent Park)and know first hand the feeling of not being able to attend these type of community events. This is why i have chosen the community centre right in my home town to sponsor some of these girls from. There will be three pick up and drop off points where we have arranged a driver to pick up these young ladies from.

Proceeds will be donated to Vita Center. An organization that educates and
supports parenting and pregnant youth.
If you are able to sponsor a table of 6 we will add your name or company
logo to the event flyer.

Even if you do not have a teen daughter, please do not ignore this email.
There must be a young lady you can either forward this email to or offer a
purchased ticket to on your behalf.

The DEVA ladies are REAL women, with a REAL story, that want to help REAL
people.

Please contact us direct to sponsor a young lady or a table of 6 girl's.
Vee Clarke (outreach coordinator) 416-857-9951

Have you stuck to your "New Year" Resoloutions....so far?

Well we (Vanessa and i) will start by saying, "thank you all for the support you have given us through "09"Ok, so we really want to hear from you. As the new year is well on its way, we are sure you have all made some promises and goals you would like to achieve for 2010. One for sure might be "The Gym" as i have worked in the fitness industry myself, i know how busy it gets for the month of Jan, however by Feb, it dies down. Yeah sad to say, but true.

To be honest Vanessa and i have not made any resolutions outside of doing the best we can as mothers to our children and to be the best we can be as "women"

Well we did say we will give "no energy" away to petty things and (oops have to say it) people. Outside of that we will just continue to reach for the stars, succeed and put our all into helping others and supporting one another.

But, please comment below on what your goal is for this year or what you promised to stop doing or to do! Not only tell us, but be honest on how well you have done so far. We are only 12 days into Jan but hey just be honest and do not be shy about it (if you have quit already)

Thank you DEVA's and stay tuned for next week's blog on "G.O.D - Girl's of Destiny Workhop/Brunch"
Now go ahead and tell us.........:-)))

The Cabbage Patch Dolls & The Bottle of Zambuka

With Christmas Day only hours away. There are so many things to get done, down to he last minute. Wrapping, shopping, family plans, going down the check list, preparing recipes, mailimg out cards and letters, and above all making sure we get that perfect gift for that special person (or people)
For me, i will be doing some house hoping starting with my baby sisters house tonight for our kriss Kringle.

Last night, i could not help but to allow the baby to open one of his gifts early. The one i knew he would be most excited for. The bike. As i sat on the floor next to him unwrapping his gift, childhood memories filled my mind. Christmas as a child was one of the most exciting days of the year for my siblings and i. Was it because of the gifts? No, NOT at all. It was a day of fun, family and festivity. We worked together to help prepare meals, my mother and vuvo (grandmother)as a ritual -baked "masa" portuguese sweet bread, and portugese songs played all morning as we danced to the music that echoed warmth, joy and unity (until someone got drunk lol)That day was about togetherness. It was a time we got together with aunts, cousins, uncles, grand parents, god parents, family friends - who we were told to call aunty and uncle (lol) and neighbours. There was always an hour or two every year for vuvo (grandma) to have a great childhood story session with tales of back home Christmas. No matter how much wrong we did on this day we never got a beating. Mom and dad were to busy entertaining the guests :-)

So as i sat watching Captain (my baby) filled with excitment as he unwrapped his bike, i felt his joy in my heart and remembered as a child the year Cabbage Patch dolls were the "must have" dolls for every young girl. However my sister and i did not have one. Guess our parents could not afford it, as they would say. Hhmmmm. Right. We went the entire year that year playing with our friends patch dolls and wishing we had one.

That year, Christmas Eve 1983, mom and dad called my sister Sue and i out into the living room and dad asked "what is the name of those dolls you guys always talk about?" and my sister and i, at the same time, yelled out "Cabbage Patch Dolls!" I do not remember what he said next...i only saw him pull out 2 patch dolls from underneath the table. One was a premie and the other was a blonde. I don't know about my sister, but i think my heart stopped beating for a minute or more. When i realized it was real and not a dream, i started screaming with joy and kissed mom and dad about a hudread times before Sue and i ran off to our rooms where we stayed for the next few hours playing with our new toys until the guests arrived.

Later that evening, while we were still on our Cabbage Patch high and showing off to our cousins who could not care less because they already had a FEW, Sue decided to take a taste of the tasty looking stuff in the bottle with the branches at the bottom that taste like licorice, ZAMBUKA! Mom and dad had about 10 bottles of liquor on the dining room table where guests were helping themselves too. To make a long story short Suzie drank half the bottle and almost died that night. All i remember were her words that she could barely let out while she was over the toilet puking her brains out with vuvo holding her hair back "Liz where is my cabbage patch doll?" Yeahhh i know! Crazy

After that night was over, when grandma was over her fear of Sue dying, Sue then got her beating. I knew it was coming. After the beating that morning, we went back to playing with the dolls.

Those are my two Christmas stories.

A Christmas note from D.E.V.A
Today, our lives are becoming hetic and fast. People are so over whelmed in their daily routines that they hardly get time to spend with their friends and family. There is no time for fun. And when we do have fun, we feel guilty. Especially for us moms and dads. Don't make your Christmas this year commercial. Get back to your childhood roots. Play music, dance with your cousins, let the young ones do eachothers make-up, play board games or have a marble competition, bake shaped cookies, pull out the dominos or a deck of cards, and don't let everyone leave. Plan a sleep over. Don't have the space? That's ok, niether did we, BUT make the space. Put the guys in one room and the girls in the other. Or, lay all the blankets down in the living room and slip in a Christmas movie or tell stories all night. Get the children involved too. Don't rush. Relax and enjoy the love in the room.

TIP: Don't wait until the next holiday to get together again. As a matter a fact plan the date before everyone leaves. We need to break this curse that our generation (my age group) started.

What is your Christmas story? Or the one gift you will never forget? Share it here with us!

CLASS Without the CASH

Are you a university student? Lawyer? Sales representative? Wedding Planner? Women's ministry leader? Or maybe even a librarian?
Looking your best does not mean big bucks. You can blend in with the big shots (the rich) on a working woman's budget. Here are some tips.

Shop Vintage

Let me be the first to tell you that two of my favourite jackets were both purchased in a Vintage Store (Kensington Market) They rock for expensive and gently used pieces. Designer items and exclusive one of a kind pieces.

Seasonal Sales

Im highly advising you to get out there and find the sales. I was never one for warehouse sales because i just could not be bothered BUT that has changed lol. When the seasons change, you can buy high end designs at a fraction of the original cost. Register with mailing lists for private warehouse sales. The shoe warehouse sales are the best for your dollar. This past week i bought 12 pairs of shoes for my kids and i for ONLY $145 YES I SAID IT $145. I'm not talking cheap shoes either. Please go check it out for yourself at 907 Oxford Street at Kipling and Evans. The sale will be on until Boxing Day.

Shoes & Bags (Here is the key secret to "class without cash"

A key to looking and feeling rich, wether walking into a board meeting, a date, a court room, or business gathering/interview IS THE SHOES AND HANDBAG!
So PLEASE NO:
*ragged heels
*scuffed heels or toes
*broken zippers
*ripped seams on bags
*dirty stains

Please avoid the imitation bags. You pay $20 to $80 for an imitation bag when you could have taken that money and bought an inexpensive Aldo or H&M bag.
If you want to blend in with the rich, don't do what the rich would not do. No matter how much you want that "Chanel" clutch, don't bother. For those of us who know our product, we will know its a fake. So what's the point? Really.

Three Suits

Be sure to purchase a grey, black and brown suit. They will last a lifetime (be sure to dry clean) Every woman should have at least three in her closet. Again, check Kensington Market or Winners for affordable suits. Don't forget the three dress shirts - White, Brown and Grey. I persoanlly have it in every colour.
Tip: Invest in these shirts with stretch-for a better fit.

Accesories

Know what and when to wear your simple or bold pieces. Do NOT wear a pair of large hip ear rings if you are going for the coorporate office look. Instead, wear a pair of studds. YES i'm def one for BIG & BOLD but know when to wear it.
Very affordable accesories:
*H&M
*Coasta Blanca
*Winners
If you have some extra cash:
*Jacob
*Club Monaco
*Marciano
*Holt Renfrew :-)

If you have any extra tips on "Class Without The Cash" please comment below.

Love on the STREETS

As the topic for this month is "Love”, I decided to write about the place I first found love.

I (Elizabeth) was born and raised on Bleecker Street in St.Jamestown. Next door to Regent Park. Where I made my second home. You might be thinking “love in Regent Park?? How can that be?” There was definitely love, and allot of it.

Although there was a great deal of crime and poverty in Regent Park, there was also a great sense of love not found in the suburbs and other parts of the city. In the “Park” as we all called it, this sense of love did not come from organized community activities, meetings with a neighborhood friend for a morning jog, or coffee at the nearest coffee shop. It came from knowing we were all surviving together, and no ONE person was better or had more then the next person. It came from knowing that kid you met at the playground or schoolyard may have a life just a little worse off than you, and that love also came from respect. Respecting each other’s strength and ability to survive life.

On those streets I learned to LOVE, respect and be LOYAL.

No matter if it was the store owner, police officer, crack dealer, prostitute or the business owner, we recognized and respected everyone. Although I knew a “not so right in the head person when I saw one” I was raised to always say “Hello, good morning, thank you sir/ms…., yes please, excuse me” Which ever was appropriate at the time.

Most days it was the neighborhood criminals that gathered us together at the ice cream truck to treat us to cones, sometimes seconds, or showed up in the park on special days like Christmas or Easter handing out quarters. I saw them as “normal” people. To be honest I, for some reason always took a special liking to the “criminals” as society would call them. They often sat us down at the park benches to speak wisdom and knowledge to us. I never once thought “What do you know?” I saw it as “They had a good mommy and daddy who taught them all this stuff” They had love deep inside and wanted to share it, only there was no one who gave them the time of day, outside of the youth.

Today, I’m 34 years old and still to this date I have never experienced that genuine, deep LOVE I had on the streets as a child growing up. Where I learned to be loyal and do unto others as you wish they do unto you.

I will never forget where I came from and why I’AM THE WOMAN I’AM today. A survivor!
The next time you sit next to a drug addict on a park bench, or walk by a young single mother with 3 crying babies, or a homeless man/woman asking for change, STOP to say hello and smile. That man, woman, boy or girl needs, breaths and desires love just like YOU. They have a story. A story that is worth hearing.

QUICK FACTS

o Regent Park Revitalization is a six-phase, 15-year, $1-billion strategy that will transform Canada's largest publicly funded community into a healthier mixed residential community for 12,500 people in 5,115 units. The first Regent Park tenants move into their new homes in May 2009.

o Phase one of the revitalization will include approximately 640 market condominiums and 340 mixed social housing units in the area bordered by Parliament, Oak, Sackville and Dundas Streets.

o The Daniels Corporation is the developer/partner with Toronto Community Housing for all phases of the revitalization. Daniels oversees the design of the new buildings, will build all the buildings and will also sell the market condominiums.

o Phase one includes a mix of commercial tenants such as Sobeys, Royal Bank of Canada (RBC), Tim Hortons and Rogers Communications.

o The revitalized Regent Park will be a green community. Lower carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions and energy savings will be achieved by constructing buildings that are energy efficient and environmentally friendly. Regent Park Energy Inc. will operate a district energy system that delivers high efficiency heating and cooling to all buildings in Regent Park.

o 380 households from phase one - about 1,160 residents - were relocated. All residents who are relocated to make way for demolition and construction have the right to return once new buildings are completed. All moving and related costs are paid by Toronto Community Housing.

o Construction on phase one began in 2006. The first new rental buildings will be ready for occupancy this spring and summer, and OneCole, the first condominium, will be ready for move-in this fall.

o Regent Park residents helped shape the phase two plan through a consultation process that began in fall 2008.

o The community will learn more about the phase two rental buildings and timelines through community meetings and newsletters.

D.E.V.A Ladies Present: The Avenue International Warehouse Shoe Sale

Ladies and Gents, Mother's, Fathers & Young Adults,

You DO NOT want to miss this sale!
This is not an email to get you to show up at the front door and still pay $120 for a $200 pair of high quality shoes, sandals, boots and sneakers.

When i say 80% off, i MEAN it.

Ladies come and enjoy CANDY Land (what i call it)

Mom's & Dad's $100+ children's genuine leather shoes and boots all must go for $20


The sale will run for 3 days
Dec 10 & 11 from 3:00pm - 8:00PM / Sat Dec 12 10:00AM - 6:00PM
Location: 907 Oxford Street, Etobicoke
(West of Islington South of gardiner- use Eastwick Street)

Come and enjoy light snacks while you shop for Christmas presents for your entire family & friends.

Please view the attached flyer for details on location, dates and times.
Feel free to call me direct if you have any questions.

Thank you i know i will see you there! trust us (DEVA Ladies) when it comes to FASHION :-)
For more information call:
Elizabeth 647-338-2107 or Vanessa 416-897-9950

If you call or email us directly we will send you a $5 off coupon via email for the sale)
For DEVA bloggers and viewers ONLY.

His Love

We all love “LOVE”. We love the idea of love and the beauty in love. Our children, gifts, nature and the list goes on.

But what is the meaning of LOVE?
We all admit that love is wonderful and necessary, yet no one can agree on what is it or isn’t.

What is the meaning of this loosely, mysterious few letter word that we use to describe everything from food, shoes, partners, mistresses, animals and from desires to passions? How is it that we use the same word to express feelings for all these things as we do for God? To be honest there are times we use the word LOVE more passionately for these desires then we do for the God that we claim to worship.

We can easily describe what it feels like to be loved, but we have trouble explaining what it means to be- loving. Why is this? We believe one of our greatest needs is to be loved, and personally I don’t think we can live happy without it. But unfortunately humans have messed up the true meaning of LOVE. We tend to believe lies about love. That love always comes with great feelings of passion. We don’t want to believe that loving another human is difficult and requires wisdom, knowledge, patience, and skills accompanied with emotion. We tend to make ourselves vulnerable to all types of fake expressions of love.

So how do learn the meaning of this word that has been so misused and abused?

The bible describes love in this passage 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 as
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres”

We all want to experience this kind of love, but no human can and ever will provide it. The only person or place to experience true genuine love is in a relationship with the ONE who created and whose very being defines it. Not only is GOD the true example of love, he is LOVE, and apart from his love none of us could love or be loved
(1 John 4:19)
God loves us with his heart, strength and mind, . Being loved means having someone know us so well and care about us so much that he/she uses all their strength, mind and soul to give us what is good and and what is best for us even before we ask, even when we do not know what it is.
That someone is GOD.

To be complete love must flow in two directions.
God’s call “of” love is paired with his command “to” love.
Ironically, the only way any of us ever find ourselves is to lose ourselves falling in love with GOD, for that is where we find our true selves and who we were meant to be.

Did you know that you can replace the word God in the bible with “LOVE” and the word “love” in the bible with “GOD” because God is love ….and love is - God.

In a letter Paul wrote to the Christians living in Corinth he said “Love never fails” that equals to “God never fails”

Where am I going?
Well we (Vanessa & Liz) know we are going where God leads us. We may not know where that may be, but we LOVE him enough to trust him with our lives. We know he will not lead us astray.
We are both willing to go into the dark places where evil is causing chaos and confusion, where there is NO LOVE.

If we can master loving GOD, then I believe we will become masters of UNDERSTANDING love.

We have attached a video of TD Jakes (One of our favourite) speaking on "Seeking God"

Why am i here?

If you are not a Christian and have heard anything about Christianity, you may have heard much more about the bad then the good. We bet you have heard stories about church money scandals, pastors, betrayal, and the list can go on. But like all influential people and things people do not regularly talk about the life changing testimonies, the survival stories or the lives that have been touched and transformed.

May i remind you what church is all about? It is not a place where you go to hang out for just something to do, or a place to go and find a mate, wear your going out clothes, or watch people, just to be noisy. It is God saying to his children of all cultural backgrounds, addictions, bad habits, all ages and sizes who will for the most part have nothing at all in common except the desire to change and live “Wake up, love one another, be the best you can be and here are the ingredients”

Gods desire for us to be in and serve his kingdom was never suppose to be so difficult and political. But isn’t that life no matter where you go or who you know? There is nothing you or we can do to stop the bad stuff from happening all around us. The church is not exempted. After all isn’t the church a place for the sick? Please do not take this out of context.

Becoming a Christian for us (Elizabeth & Vanessa –DEVA) did not mean we became holy over night or that we claim to be now and it did not make our bad habits disappear or our life stress free. It opened our spiritual eyes (which were closed) to what needed to be fixed, healed and delivered. We were given the wisdom and knowledge we lacked while we were in the world. Our walk is not and will never always be easy, however after trying almost everything else from self-help books, counselling, studying religions and other methods of self healing, there was no other way for us. This was the best decision we have ever made. People will not always understand why you or we have decided to become a man or woman of God, but they will see you carry a sense of satisfaction and joy that was not there before.

Why do we follow Jesus? Why not?

Jesus was and is the greatest teacher. He is best qualified to teach us what life is about and how to live it. Family, business, children, politics, laws, relationships, forgiveness and much more can all be found in his book of life. The Bible. It is ok to think and feel that Jesus thinking and teaching is difficult. His disciples may have felt the same way. In John 6:68 Jesus asked his disciples if they were thinking of leaving him. They replied “Lord, to whom can we go? You have the words of eternal life.”

Christians and church is not perfect so do not expect it to be. In all actuality, men and woman of God are attacked everyday by the enemy & temptations. Only we have been given the recipe to defeat them, we don’t always defeat them but we do have the right recipe.

When Steve Harvey sat for an interview with Donnie McClurkin on TBN, he shared a life testimony that brought him to tears. It was clear to us from the video that Steve, like the most of us, is going through something personal. Rich, poor, healthy, sick, famous or homeless, we ALL feel. Nonetheless, it was moving and uplifting to see Steve being so honest and open on the fact that yes he is Steve Harvey but he is still human, and could not have made it through without God. Please take in this moving video.





Sheila E has also become a great inspiration for us. We were both brought up listening to her music and were dedicated fans as teenagers. Please log onto to www.sheilae.com to read Sheila’s life changing testimony on how she hit rock bottom and had to cry out to God for another chance.

James 3:17
Wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all PURE, the PEACE-loving, CONSIDERATE,SUBMISSIVE, FULL of MERCY & GOOD FRUIT, IMPARTIAL and SINCERE.